


I Love You's

by Dangerous_Liaison



Category: CrankGameplays - Fandom, Reader-Insert - Fandom, youtube - Fandom
Genre: A little bit of everything, Cute, F/M, Fluff, Multi, Reader-Insert, Sad, some are really short, standalone stories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-09-27 23:22:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 9,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10056725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dangerous_Liaison/pseuds/Dangerous_Liaison
Summary: A series of stand alone drabbles of Ethan x reader. Each being a different way to say "I love you." Based off a Tumblr prompt.





	1. As a hello

**As a hello**

As I walk through the airport, eyes scanning over the crowd, I grow nervous. After skyping and face-timing for months, I'm finally gonna meet him. I don't know why my stomach keeps fluttering. It's not like anything is different. I'm just seeing Ethan face to face for the first time and will be able to actually reach out and touch him. Oh God, I'm gonna throw up. I heard someone call my name. I look up and see the blue hair in the distance. I swear my heart stops. He's jumping up and waving above everyone's heads. I don't care how cliche I look, I just start running. When I'm close I drop my bags and practically jump on him. He makes an ‘oof!’ sound but chuckles and wraps his arms around me.  
“Hi," he whispers into my hair. I wait a moment, crying into his shoulder a bit, before I look up at him.  
“I love you…” He looks a little taken back.  
“Sorry. I just wanted that to be the first thing I ever said to you in person.” I hide my blushing face in his shoulder again. He lifts my head up again and smiles at me.  
“I love you, too.” He leans in and we kiss for the first time and I don't care if it feels like I'm in a rom-com, it's amazing.


	2. With a hoarse voice, under the blankets

**With a hoarse voice, under the blankets**

I hear the door open but I don't bother rolling over to see who it is. When I feel the bed dip I have a good idea of who came in. I feel arms wrap around me from behind.  
“How's my sick girl?” he whispers in my ear. I just groan and throw the covers over my head. I can hear his muffled laughter before he crawls under the blankets as well.  
“Do you need anything, hun?” He sounds so concerned, it warms my heart.  
“Love, cuddles, and a bullet to end my suffering.”  
“Well, I can give you 2 out of 3.”  
“Okay, fine, no cuddles then.” I can feel him smile into my neck.  
“You know what I mean.”  
“Yeah, I do.” I let out a fit of coughs and he just holds me closer.  
“I love you,” I croak out.  
“Ditto,” he says in a sleepy voice. It wasn't long before we were fast asleep.


	3. A scream

**A scream**

I stomp into the living room but he inevitably follows.

“Ethan, you need to get away from me right now,” I warned. I didn't notice Mark was in the room at first but it didn't stop my anger when I did. He stayed silent and watched.

“I don't know why you're so mad,” Ethan retorted. This pissed me off.

“BECAUSE! You get so territorial when I'm around other guys!” He threw his hands up.

“He was being way too friendly!”

“He's a barista, he's supposed to be friendly! And so what if he was! Guys aren't allowed to be nice to me?” Ethan put his head in his hands.

“Of course they can, but I know that some guys just pretend to be nice to get what they want. I don't want you to get hurt.” My face softened a little.

“I get that, and thank you for being my best friend, but I can handle myself.” He looked like he wanted to say something.

“But- That's not the only reason I do it..." I got confused.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, for God's sake!” Mark exclaimed from the couch. “It's because he loves you! And not in a best friend way. He lovey-dovey loves you!” Ethan's face instantly turned red and he looked like he wanted to strangle Mark.

“Is that true?” He took a moment to meet my eyes.

“...yeah.” My eyes watered a little. I was about to say something before I looked over to Mark.

“Thank you for your help. You can leave now.”

“But this is my house.” He sat there for a moment before letting out a defeated sigh and getting up.

“But if you guys start fucking right here in the living room, I'm moving.”


	4. Over a cup of tea

**Over a cup of tea**

These were the best kinds of days. It was a lazy Sunday and currently raining. I was sitting on the porch swing with a comfy blanket and a book. I couldn't be happier.

The door squeaked open and Ethan walked out with a tray. He set it down and I saw that it had tea and cookies on it.

“I stand corrected.”

“What?”

“Nothing” He handed me a cup and sat next to me. I covered him with the blanket as well and leaned my head on my shoulder.

“I feel like this is the definition of peaceful, right here,” he said, barely over a whisper. I nodded and held the teacup close, feeling the warmth. I looked up at him and saw that his eyes were closed as we rocked back and forth slowly.

“I love you." His eyes didn't open as he pulled me closer and kissed the top of my head. We stayed there all morning.


	5. Over a beer bottle

**Over a beer bottle**

There was loud music blasting from the other room and the house was packed with people. I didn't know most of them so I kept to myself in the corner. I finished the last of my beer and made my way to the kitchen to get another. Once there, I saw Mark talking to a couple people.

“Finally! Someone I recognize!” I stumbled back a little after pulling a beer out of the cooler. Mark turned to me and laughed.

“And you're already drunk. Have you just been drinking by yourself?”

“Aw, don't make me sound like a loser. But yeah... Anyway, congrats on the 20 million subs, Markimoo. We should have a party for every milestone, but with less people.”

“Thanks. But you'd probably die if that were the case.” He patted my shoulder.

“Fuck you. You would, too, if you weren't allergic. And you would if you tried while you _were_ allergic… Please don't die.” Mark barked out a laugh.

“I promise. Also, if it helps your social anxiety, Ethan's upstairs, editing a video. You two are perfect for each other: not

sociable at all.”

“Thanks.” I kissed him on the cheek and walked up the stairs. It took me about twice as long as normal but I made it. Walking into Ethan's office space, I saw that he was, indeed, just editing a video. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his neck. He jumped a bit, not hearing me come in because of his headphones. When he saw it was me he smiled.

“Hey. Sorry I disappeared. Parties really aren't my thing.” I looked to his desk and saw that he brought a couple beers in with him. I smirked.

“So you opted out for drinking alone?” Ethan looked a little embarrassed. "Me too.” I gestured to the bottle in my hand. I pulled his chair out a little and sat in his lap. Placing a bottle in his hand, I clinked mine against his. He smiled down at me and we both took a drink.

“We really are perfect for each other, aren't we?” I stared into his eyes. “I love you. And that's not just the alcohol talking.” He chuckled. “I love you, too. And that might just be the alcohol talking,” he joked. I playfully punched him in the shoulder and kissed him.


	6. On a sunny Tuesday afternoon, the late sunlight glowing in your hair

****On a sunny Tuesday afternoon, the late sunlight glowing in your hair** **

I walked into Ethan's office and, without warning, took off his headphones and turned his chair to face me.

“What's going on?” He looked concerned, trying to decipher if I was mad or if something had happened. I just smiled to relieve some of his worry.

“You're being kidnapped,” I said simply. He looked confused.

“What?” I pulled his chair closer to me and knelt down to eye level.

“You've been in here all day and it's gorgeous outside. We're going on a picnic.” I held up the basket I had placed on the ground. He smiled.

“That does sound nice, but I've still got two more videos to edit.”

“I hear you. But do you know what I see?” I reached up and moved some hair out of his face. “I see bags under your eyes. I see candy bar wrappers and energy drink cans. I see bloodshot eyes. So I don't care if you have to edit a presidential speech or some shit, you need real food and sunlight.” He looked defeated, but smiled.

“I expect you downstairs in ten minutes.”

When we got to the park I could already see a drastic change in his mood. He smiled brightly as we set everything up. We sat down and talked about anything and everything while we drank lemonade. Eventually, he rested his head in my lap. I smiled down at him and fed him strawberries. He looked so content, reaching up to tuck some of my hair behind my ear.

“Your hair looks so beautiful with the sun shining on it like that.” I blush, reverting back into a joking manner.

“Well, you'd be used to it if you got out more.”

“I know. Thanks for this, I really needed it. You really know me. I love you.” He tugged on my shirt so I would lean down. I giggled and kissed him.


	7. As a thank you

**As a thank you**

I walked over to the kitchen table where Ethan was busy on his laptop. I placed a sandwich and glass of water in front of him. He looked up.

“One sec!” he yelled because of the headphones he had on. He typed something out for a moment then took them off. He motioned for me to lean down. I did so and he kissed my forehead. We both smiled and he went back to his work.

That was our little thing: every time the other did something for us, we'd give 'em a kiss. I'm partial to giving cheek kisses and he always kissed me on the forehead. We both kind of think the words, ‘Thank you’ are too standard. That you could just say them nonchalantly and not really mean it. So to show that we truly appreciate the other, we just came up with this scenario. We work better through actions rather than words. That's why neither of us has said, ‘I love you’ yet. And that's okay, we know the other does.

But this is just what we've done for the last couple months. Whether it be me making sure he's eating while he works, or him fixing my computer when there's a problem. The others have mixed feelings about it. The girls say it's so cute and the guys poke fun at it a little. Like, if I ask Tyler if he could reach for something on a high shelf he'll hand it to me and point to his cheek. I just laugh and kiss him.

Tomorrow was our one year anniversary, and I'm not normally sappy enough to make a big deal about it, but he's been really busy this week. It's like everytime I look at him he's on his computer, concentrating as hard as ever.

I went to bed alone for the third night that week. I would never be mad at him for doing what he loved, and I sure as hell wouldn't ask him to stop just cuz I was a little lonely. So I’ll just have to suck it up for a little while.

I woke up to the sound of my phone dinging like crazy. I reached over to the nightstand and flailed my hand around for a bit before finding it. I lifted it up to my face and had to blink a couple times before I could see clearly. I saw that it was only a little after six in the morning.

“What the…?” I kept getting notifications from Twitter. I had never turned them off because, even though I was dating a ‘Youtube star’ I still wasn’t all that popular. But now my phone was practically shaking.

**omg this is so cute!!!**

**I ship it so hard!**

**Goals af <3**

I selected the link to the video they were all talking about. It directed me to a video on Ethan’s channel, titled ‘What Love Is.’ He didn’t do his normal intro, it just started off with text that said, ‘Love can be shown in many ways.’ Then came up a slideshow of various pictures. One of a glass of water, one of a bottle of lotion, one of a sandwich. I didn’t understand at first, but then there was one of a sticky note: **you rock, blue boy, keep at it!**

These were some of the things I did for him. Bringing him food and water, rubbing his shoulders and leaving sticky notes when he’s stressed. I covered my mouth. I couldn’t believe he remembered all of these things, let alone documented them.

The slideshow went on for a couple minutes. Then there was a photo of him kissing my forehead next to a photo of me kissing his cheek, at a somewhat awkward angle.

“When did he take those?” I wondered out loud, with a big smile on my face. Then there was more text. ‘It doesn’t always have to be said in words, but…’ Then Ethan’s face was on screen. He looked up at the camera sheepishly. He took a deep breath.

“I love you.” And that was it. I was speechless, tears in my eyes. I heard someone clear their throat in the doorway.

“So I guess you’ve already seen it.” I looked up to see Ethan standing there, hands in his pocket, looking kinda shy. I threw my phone to the side, scrambling to jump outta bed.

“I love you, too!” I grabbed his face and kissed him hard.


	8. When baking chocolate chip cookies

**When baking chocolate chip cookies**

It was rare to have a completely free day. But while others deemed it to be a relax/sleep day, I had other plans. I don't question small miracles, I just make the best of them. Not being weary of the dozing housemates, I plugged in my phone and turned the music up as I went around the kitchen, gathering everything I needed.

“Now I gotta cut loose, footloose. Kick off your Sunday shoes!” I made a ridiculous kicking motion as I danced around.

“Please, Louise, pull me off of my knees!” I felt someone grab my hand and twirl me around. I'm not proud to say I shrieked a little. Before I knew it, I was in Ethan's arms. He was smiling brightly, laughing at my antics. I just laughed as well as we both danced and sang loudly.

When the song ended I turned the music down. We just stood there for a moment, a little out of breath.

“Well, that's one way to wake up. I could get used to that.” He booped my nose and went to sit at the island. “What are you making?”

“Chocolate chip cookies. This is supposed to be a day of fun. You guys can relax all you want but I'll be over here enjoying myself.”

“I'm all on board with that. I had my nap, let's have some fun!” I smiled at him.

“Okay, then you can help make these.”

“You know I can't cook worth shit.”

“Which is why I'm gonna teach you. Just do everything I say.”

“Got it. No different than any other day.” He smiled cheekily and kissed my cheek.

We set about mixing everything in the bowl and after we put them in the oven, another song came on.

“Ohmygodyes!” I ran over and turned it up.

“My baby, he don't talk sweet. He ain't got much to say. But he loves me, loves me, loves me. I know that he loves me anyway!” Again, I sang loud and danced crazily. Ethan laughed out loud and pulled me in from where he sat on the stool.

“It's true, I do love you.”

“I'd hope so. But why do I get the feeling you're only saying it cuz you wanna lick the cookie dough bowl?” I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Well, can't I have two motives?” He gave me his best innocent face. I tapped my chin, pretending to think about it.

“Hmm… nope. There will be no whoring out your ‘I love you’s’ for sweet treats, I'm sorry. Now you don't get any.” I reached a finger into the bowl and grabbed some. I have him a challenging look before I put it in my mouth. Almost immediately after, he grabbed my shoulders and kissed me deeply. I couldn't help but laugh out loud.

“Ew! That's so gross!” He just sat there, looking satisfied.

“What did I just witness?” We both jumped and turned to see Tyler standing there, arms crossed.

“I smelled cookies and thought I'd come down to see what you guys were making. But if that's how you treat the cookie dough I think I'll pass.” He shook his head and went back upstairs. Ethan and I looked at each other and laughed. **  
**


	9. Not said to me

**Not said to me**

I was sitting on the couch, scrolling through social media while I waited for everyone to get done filming and editing. I almost dozed off when Amy came running into the room. She stood in front of me, hands covering her giddy smile, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet.

“What?”

“You need to come see this.” Before I could ask anymore questions, she took ahold of my arm and dragged me into the other room. We entered the room Kathryn was in, editing videos. She pulled a chair over and Amy gently pushed me down into it. Then Kathryn wheeled me over to the computer.

“What’s going on?”

“So, you know that huge crush you have on Ethan?” Kathryn asked. My head snapped over to Amy.

“Hey, I told you that in confidence!” Amy lifted her hands up in a surrendering motion. Kathryn spun the chair so I was looking at her.

“No, honey, it’s just painfully obvious. Anyway, he’s been swamped with work lately so I told him to just focus on his videos and I would edit Mark’s this week. Well...I think he forgot about this one.” She gestured to the monitor. It showed the three guys sitting at a table, Mark was talking. I hit play.

_“-ler, I dare you to eat three hot peppers.”_

“They’re playing Truth or Dare? Really? Have they already run out of ideas?” Kathryn made a loud ‘Shhh!’ sound and Amy covered my mouth with both of her hands.

_Tyler lifted his arms up in victory. A moment later they both turned to Ethan._

_“What?” Tyler smirked at him._

_“Truth or dare?”_

_“Uh, truth, I guess.” Mark smiled widely._

_“You know what we’re gonna ask.” Ethan’s eyes widened._

_“Dare, then.”_

_“Fine, I dare you to tell us.” Ethan looked at their piercing stares._

_“Okay, fine then! Yes, I like her. I really like her. Ever since she moved here. We’ve become so close and shared so much that I’ve grown to really care about her. Almost to the point that I love…” He looked up to see both of them with their chins in their hands, looking awestruck. Ethan stood up to try to look menacing._

_“If either of you ever tell her, I SWEAR TO GOD!” They both laughed and Tyler ruffled his hair._

_“It’s okay, man. We just wanted you to admit it to yourself.” Ethan sat back down. Looking into the camera, he said, “Hey, future me, make sure to edit this whole part out.”_ _  
_ _“Awe, no fair!”_ I paused the video.

“There’s no way to tell that this is about me. It probably isn’t.”

“Bullshit!” Kathryn exclaimed. Amy put her hands on my shoulders.

“What she means is, there’s no way it isn’t about you. You’re inseparable and basically best friends. He gives you googly eyes all the freakin’ time but you’re not perceptive enough to notice. We love you guys and we just want you to be happy.” Kathryn turned my chair back to her.

“I spend a lot of time with the guy, editing videos and such. And besides the content of the videos, ALL he talks about is you. If this is about somebody else, then this is news to everyone.” I looked down in my lap.

“Thanks, guys. I-I’m gonna go talk to him. ”I stood up and hugged them both before walking to the door. On my way out I hear them cheer me on.

“Go get ‘em!”  
“Make that little blueberry’s day **!”**


	10. With a shuddering gasp

**With a shuddering gasp**

I woke up at what could only be an ungodly hour to my phone buzzing. Unlocking it, I see that it's a little after 3:30.

“I'm gonna kill whoever this is.” When I open my texts it shows the newest one is from Ethan.

“What the?”

**Happy birthday beautiful :-***

I furrow my brow, but respond.

**_Thanks, but isn't it a lil early?_ **

**For the past 3 years I've always sent you morning bday messages. Wanna be the first to tell you.**

**_That's sweet but they're usually at a more, what's the word, NORMAL, REALISTIC, NOT-EARLY-AF-STILL-DARK-OUT-WEIRD time_ **

This time he took a while longer to respond. It's not that I'm angry at him for wishing me a happy birthday. I do think it's sweet and he's the nicest boyfriend anyone could ask for. I haven't seen him in months due to us living in different states and having hectic lives. So any and all contact from him is cherished. I also haven't been able to see him on my birthday for the three years that we've been dating so I always love our little traditions. The first being a morning ‘Happy Birthday’ text.

**Well then! I am offended. I guess you don't want your special photo then.**

The second was a unique photo. It could be sexy or funny or anything else. As long as it was special and taken just for the other person.

**_Don't you dare hold out on me, Nestor. I am the bday girl and I expect to receive my photo_ **

**Ok well do you want it now then?**

**_I do happen to be awake. Might as well_ **

A couple minutes later my phone buzzed and it says I have a picture message.

I was expecting him to try to be sexy and funny. Like maybe a pic of him posing lingerie all dramatically or something. That is not what he sent.

It was fairly dark and kinda blurry. From what I could tell, it was a road sign. All I could read was, “Welcome to” the rest was blurred. I was confused.

**_Are you traveling for your job or smth?_ **

He didn't answer. A few minutes later he texted back.

**I swear I'm not trying to rush things but I'm gonna give you ur bday call soon, kay?**

What was his deal? The third tradition was a call. No matter what, we took time out of our schedules to call the other on their birthday. But why was he trying to do all of these at once? And at four in the morning?

**_I guess_ **

No less than thirty seconds later, my phone rang, Ethan's smiling face lighting up the screen. I answered it.

“You better have a good reason for speed-dating me.”

“Hello to you, too,” he laughed. “Happy birthday, baby. I miss you like crazy.”

“You have a weird way of showing it.”

“I know. Did you like the picture?”

“I'm not sure.”

“I'll bet if you look at it long enough it'll make sense.” Before I could ask what he meant, I heard him say something to somebody next to him. “Sorry about that. I'm still here. Okay, don't get mad, I'm really not trying to rush, but I wanna give you your present. It should be there soon.” The last tradition was sending a present. We were pretty good at getting the timing right so the other would get it on their actual birthday.

“What do you mean? Our street doesn't get the mail 'til around ten.”

“Well this one is specially delivered. And you might wanna bring it inside, it's perishable.” Again, before I could ask just what the hell he was talking about, a pair of headlights shone through my window. I peeked through the blinds and saw a taxi in my driveway.

My eyes widened. “No... “ I said in disbelief. Thinking back to the photo, I want to smack myself. I should have been able to recognize my own home town sign. My hand flew up to my mouth.

I heard him pay and thank the driver on the other end of the phone.

“I could make a joke here. Something like ‘Get ready to unwrap your present,’ but I think it'd be in poor taste.” At this point I was crying, gasping for breath.

“I-I love you…”

“I love you, too, sweetheart. Now, are you gonna let me in so I can say it to your face?”


	11. From very far away

**From very far away**

I sat at my computer, lazily scrolling through posts on Pinterest, not really paying attention. My mind was attentively wondering when he was gonna call. I would never admit it out loud, but those calls were the highlight of my week. And I most certainly wouldn't tell anyone, myself even, that I kinda just sat around waiting for them.

I met Ethan online a few months ago. We really hit it off and started Skyping, and now we Skype every Thursday evening. This is one of the few times that both of our schedules are free.

We were basically dating without actually saying it out loud. Like, we never made it official but we have a lot in common and care for each other dearly. I haven't said anything because I'm not about to bring up the idea of us and get shot down.

I was glancing through some DIY when it popped up that I had an incoming call. I jumped a little and clicked it with shaking hands.

And there he was, blue hair and smiling face and all. He grinned cheesily and waved.

“Hey! Sorry it's later than normal. We were filming this ridiculous skit and it took me forever to wash off the makeup.”

“Awe, you should've left it on. I would've loved to see that,” I laughed.

“Oh, I bet you would. You'll just have to wait and see it when everyone else does. No special treatment for you.”

I pouted dramatically. “But I _am_ special.”

“Yes, I can't deny that.” He stared at me for a moment. “You look really pretty today. Not that you don't look pretty everyday. Did you do something different?” I tried my best not to blush at the compliment and ran a hand through my hair.

“Uh, yeah, I got my hair cut and styled. Thanks for noticing, most guys don't notice that kind of thing.” He furrowed his brow.

“Really? Then you're hanging around the wrong kind of guys. How could someone not notice you? You're gorgeous!” And now the blush was full force and there was no stopping it.

“I-I’m not like you. I don't have all this confidence to go out there and strut my stuff.” He let out a loud laugh.

“First of all, you have no proof I go out there and strut. Secondly, if I never get noticed it's usually cuz of the blue hair.” He fluffed his hair out. “And lastly, you don't need to go out of your way to be noticed. I know for a fact that someone can be drawn to you while you're being just the way you are.” Before I could say anything (or combust from the heat in my face) I saw someone open the door behind Ethan. Two guys walked in.

“We were wondering where you went.” They both plopped down onto his bed, on either side of him. They looked into the camera and I waved pathetically.

The one on his left, wearing a beanie, widened his eyes. “So this is what you do every Thursday!”

“We were expecting the worst! This is amazing!” said the energetic, tan-skinned man to his right. Ethan looked embarrassed.

“Guys… please. I'm talking to someone, here.”

“Oh don't mind us,” said the one in the beanie, showing no indication of leaving. Ethan face-palmed.

The tan one chuckled. “Okay, we can take a hint.” He looked to me and held up a hand. “It was nice meeting you! Take care of our baby boy, okay?” I couldn't help but laugh as they shuffled out while Ethan hid his face on his bed. He pointed to the door without lifting his head.

“Those are my friends. And I'm steadily regretting that,” came his muffled voice. I giggled.

“They seem great.”

He lifted his head back up. “Anyway, before they so rudely interrupted, I was saying something. And I'm particularly hating them right now because it was something important and they ruined the moment.” My heart sped up.

“Well, here, I'll set the mood again. What was I doing before? Oh yeah, being the moody, depressed, self-doubting person you've come to know and love.” I put on a stoic expression. He was looking at me seriously.

“I really have,” he said quietly. My face dropped.

“What?”

“I really have come to know and love you. You're always putting yourself down and I can't for the life of me figure out why or how. You're this amazing, beautiful, funny, interesting person. And, sure, I've only known you for a few months, but I can already tell that you're special. Now all I've gotta do is help you learn that.” My eyes watered a bit.

“Wait- Did you just say that you loved me?”

 _“Did he just say he loved her?”_ Ethan's head whipped around to the closed door. He got up, and when he opened it, both of his friends stumbled in. He crossed his arms as he stood over them.

“Really?”

“I'm not even embarrassed,” said Beanie Guy, “That was beautiful, man, what you said. So do you?” They both looked at him expectantly.

He let out an exasperated sigh. “I'm not saying this in front of you guys.”

“If you kick us out we'll just go back to listening at the door,” said Tan Guy. I couldn't help but laugh at that, which made Ethan look at me. He sighed again and walked over to his laptop.

“Look, a lot of people are gonna say you can't have any real feelings for someone you've technically never met. Or that it's not real love if you've only known them for a short time. Well I say fuck anyone and everyone that thinks they have any jurisdiction over my feelings. Let's prove them wrong.” He took a deep breath. “Yeah. I love you. I care about you so much. And I'll spend as long as I have to, loving you enough for the both of us ‘til you start loving yourself as well.” I didn't know what to say, I was so touched.

“Holy shit, that was beautiful. He needs to go into the romance novel business,” I heard come from behind him. He paid them no attention, gauging my reaction.

I let out a breath. “I love you, too. I really do.” It's about time I let myself be happy.


	12. As we huddle together, the storm raging outside

****As we huddle together, the storm raging outside** **

I sat on the windowsill, watching as the storm clouds started rolling in. They looked so beautiful contrasting with the green trees. I absolutely loved this kind of weather, I could stare at it all day. I wish Ethan didn't have to edit today so we could watch it together.

My phone buzzed and it sounded much louder in my relaxed state. I jumped and picked it up.

 

**From: Markimoo**

**Hey idk if you've seen it but a storms coming. Just a heads up.**

 

**To: Markimoo**

**Oh don't worry, I'm watching it right now. It looks so cool.**

 

**From: Markimoo**

**lol that's great & all but I was telling you so you could check on Ethan.**

 

My eyes widened and I almost dropped my phone. I completely forgot that he was afraid of thunderstorms.

 

**To: Markimoo**

**Oh shit how did I forget that?? Omg thanks for the reminder.**

 

**From: Markimoo**

**Haha no worries. Tyler & I are gonna be busy working on a video & won't be home till late. Just find a way to distract him ;)**

 

**To: Markimoo**

**Oh behave**

 

I put my phone in my pocket and glanced back at the clouds. They were really coming in. I walked out into the hallway but paused. I didn’t wanna disturb him while he’s working. Plus, telling him about the oncoming storm would just make him nervous.

I decide to just go downstairs and we’d deal with it when he’s done. I put a movie in and not fifteen minutes later there was thunder and lightning. The thunder was the type that cracked and boomed and kinda shook the world. Right as it happened, I heard a scream come from upstairs. It had to have been loud to be heard over the storm.

I didn’t think as I rushed upstairs and into his office. There he was in his chair but he had taken his headphones off and was curled into a ball. He covered his head with his arms. The sight broke my heart. I quietly approached him so I didn’t scare him even more. Kneeling down, I gently touched his arm. He jumped dramatically. Looking up at me, he sighed, looking relieved.

“Come with me,” I said holding out my hand. He looked unsure for a second but took my hand anyway. We walked into the hallway when the thunder boomed again. Ethan jumped and I put my arm around him as we went down to the living room. I sat him on the couch and started walking away.

“Wait, where are you going?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll back in a sec.” I ran into my room and grabbed all the blankets and pillows I could find. Coming back, I couldn’t see with the pile in my arms. I could hear him laugh as I stumbled a bit. Well, at least that made him happy.

I dumped all of them on the couch and we set about making a giant fort. When we were done and nestled down into it, I resumed the movie, turning it up really loud to drown out the storm.

Every few minutes I'd look over at him to make sure he was okay. He finally looked over at me and laughed a little.

“I'm fine.” He bumped my shoulder with his. “Thank you for this. I love you.” He wrapped his arm around me and I leaned my head on his shoulder as we watched the movie.


	13. Through a song

**Through a song**

“Everything sucks,” I say as the girls set things up.

“Oh, don't be such a baby,” Amy said, not even looking up from her computer. I huffed out a sigh.

“Remind me why I'm doing this again?”

Kathryn laughed. "Because you're constantly telling Ethan that he should sing more on his channel but he keeps telling you he loves your singing voice. But you're stubborn and said you'd never record yourself. And since you're such a loving girlfriend you're posting yourself singing for the first time. Either that, or you're afraid he'll never sing on his channel again if you don't do this.”

“Hey, I resent that you think I have ulterior motives. Though… it's kinda true.”

“Either way,” Amy piped up, "It's sweet that you're doing this for his milestone.”

“I don't know. I think I'm gonna throw up.”

“Don't think about it,” Kathryn assured, “Just pretend you're singing to him. You've sung around him before. Just picture this little camera is his sweet face.” I giggled at that.

“Wow, Ethan.” I gestured to the tripod. “You've lost a lot of weight. And I thought you were skinny before.” The girls laughed. “Okay, let's do this before I really freak out.”

I was currently hiding behind the couch, feeling kinda stupid, but it was gonna be worth it. I was instructed to turn on the camera and then hide. They'd do the rest.

I heard the others walk in. They were all chatting as they sat on the couch.

“Oh, Ethan, before I forget, I edited a new video today. Could you check it out and tell me what you think?”

“Sure, Kathryn.” She passed him her laptop. I held my breath as he hit play.

_“Hey, blueberry.”_

“What's this?” They all shushed him very loudly.

_“I can't tell you how proud I am of you for getting this far. You work your ass off every day and give it your all in everything you do. You definitely deserve this milestone and so much more… Uh, this is for you. You know how hard this is for me so I apologize if it sucks.”_

As the song played I kind of tuned it out, taking deep breaths. I don't know why it made me so nervous. It was already posted and a bunch of people were gonna see it. But now my close friends were listening to me. _Ethan_ was listening.

_“My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,_ _  
_ _Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,_ _  
_ _You never need to carry more than you can hold,_ _  
_ _And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,_   
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too.”

I quietly stood up and leaned down, resting my head on my arms on the back of the couch. I leaned in next to his ear and softly sang the last line.

“Yeah, this is my wish.” His head whipped around to look at me. “Hi,” I whispered. He handed the laptop back and quite literally leapt over the back of the couch. He hugged me so hard I found it difficult to breathe, but I didn't mind. He pulled away and held my face, looking deep into my eyes.

“You did this for me? Even with the stage fright?” I pursed my lips and nodded. I saw his eyes fill with tears and was about to panic. Before I could apologize, he pulled me in and kissed me hard. I could hear a chorus of 'Awwws’ behind us. Amy walked over and turned off the camera.

“Aaand scene! This will be an adorable reaction video to post later.”


	14. Broken, as you clutch the sleeve of my jacket and beg me not to leave

****Broken, as you clutch the sleeve of my jacket and beg me not to leave** **

I woke up while it was still dark. I turned over and attempted to reach over the body next to me to get my phone.

His voice startled me. “It's 4:35.” He lifted his head and looked up at me. “I just checked a minute ago. I can't sleep either. “ I dropped my arm and flopped back down onto the pillow. I turned so we were lying face to face.

He said nothing, just stared at me. His eyes roamed over my face: first my eyes, then around the hair that framed my face, down my nose, then stopped at my lips. He stared at my lips for a long moment, then held my chin as he kissed me. It was light and lasted a long time. We just laid there and kind of breathed each other in. When we parted I refused to open my eyes. I didn't want to see his sad expression. So I just buried my face in his chest and he held me there.

“I can't believe you're leaving tomorrow- today, actually.”

“I don't wanna think about it,” I mumbled. He chuckled dryly as he stroked my hair.

“Not thinking about something doesn't make it go away. If that were the case, you'd never leave cuz I never stop thinking about you.” I pursed my lips to keep from crying.

Taking a deep breath, I said, “We both knew this was just a temporary visit. Two weeks, that was it. So why does it still hurt so much? Were we just in denial?” He kissed the top of my head before resting his chin there.

“Probably. At first, I was just so excited to see you and get to spend time with you without a screen between us. Then as the days went on I got used to seeing you everyday. Waking up next to you, falling asleep with you in my arms. Even when I was busy I'd still hear your laugh in the other room while you talked with the girls. And that's another thing: everyone here just adores you. You've easily become part of our little group. It was all so simple, so easy. Everything just fell into place. Like you were meant to be here. So yeah, my mind didn't even let me fathom that you would be leaving.”

I pulled my head back and looked at him. A stoic expression graced his features. I reached up and brushed at the hair on his forehead. My hand trailed down and I held his face, rubbing his cheekbone with my thumb. He closed his eyes and leaned into it. In that moment, I knew I'd never seen someone so beautiful.

We spent the next couple hours laying there, committing the other to memory, or at least all of the things you can't get through a screen. Constant touching, holding each other so close we were breathing the same air. I tried to memorize his smell: Sweet, like honey, mixed with the manly scent of his shampoo.

Every now and then we shared stories and thoughts through whispers. And when the sun started peeking through the blinds the tears welled up again. For both of us this time.

To others, we would probably look overdramatic but we honestly don't know when we're gonna see each other again. We both have busy schedules and it was a miracle to even arrange this.

I checked my phone. 7:33. He looked at it, then up at me.

“You might wanna get all your stuff packed up.”

“I did it last night while you were in your office so I didn't have to leave this bed any earlier than I had to.” He looked at me with admiration.

“God, I'm gonna miss you. You say things like that and I just wanna grab you and kiss you.” He did just that. Resting his forehead on mine, he said, “But I won't be able to after today.” I didn't say anything. I didn't give him any reassurance that I'd be back soon. Because I didn't know if I would, and I didn't want to give him false hope.

About 20 minutes later, we heard a light tap on the door. We turned to see Mark standing in the doorway with a small, bittersweet smile.

“Just wanted to make sure you guys were up. She should probably get going soon.” We both nodded and Mark walked back downstairs.

After slowly, oh-so slowly, getting out of bed and gathering my bags, we headed downstairs. Everyone was waiting in the living room. The girls hugged me tightly and made me promise to text them as soon as I got home. Tyler smirked down at me and lifted me off the ground in a big bear hug. Mark opened his arms.

“Um, we're not saying goodbye yet. I hope it's okay, but could you drive me to the airport instead?” He looked over at Ethan in confusion.

“We decided it'd be harder if I took her. I'd probably subconsciously take a wrong turn so she'd miss her flight or something,” he laughed. Mark nodded.

“I understand.” While he went to get his keys I turned to Ethan. We stared at each other for a moment, then hugged each other tightly. He grabbed my jacket and helped me into it but didn't let go of my sleeve, eyes downcast. I tilted his chin up and saw that his eyes were watery. They looked deep into mine, pleadingly. He didn't say the words because he knew they'd be fruitless, but they were there, in his eyes.

_Please don't go._

Mark came back in the room.

“I don't wanna be that guy, but we should go.” We didn't move right away. With his hand still attached to my sleeve, Ethan kissed my forehead.

“I love you.” I pursed my lips, nodding vigorously and blinking rapidly to subside the tears. I couldn't speak without crying and I could tell he understood that. I grabbed my bags and, with one last wave to everyone, I walked out the door.


	15. A taunt, with one eyebrow raised and a grin bubbling at your lips

****A taunt, with one eyebrow raised and a grin bubbling at your lips** **

For as little and squeaky-voiced as Ethan was, he could be pretty cocky sometimes. Yes, in all seriousness, he was a humble guy that didn't think himself higher than anyone. But he's also pretty competitive. And what better way to crush his ego a bit than to have his girlfriend beat him at stuff.

Usually it's fine, all fun and games. But today they were filming a video that we were all involved in. It was kind of a triathalon/series of sports or games and it was boys versus girls. The last event was wrestling and both of the other girls had lost. It was up to me, and of course I was up against Ethan. As soon as I saw his little smirk I was determined to win.

Let's just say it took about two minutes and he was pinned. After the count was finished and I declared the winner, I just smiled down at him and kissed his pouting face.

The boys wore looks of shock and the girls jumped up and down and cheered. I helped him up and he smiled but I could tell he was embarrassed.

 

The next day, I was reading a book at the kitchen table. Someone startled me by plopping into the seat across from me. I dropped my book and look over to see Ethan grimacing.

“Sorry.”

“No biggie," I said as I picked it up. "What's up?”

“Not my pride.”

“Yeah, that's a little obvious.”

“Anyway, I need to redeem myself.”

“How do you propose to do that?” He held up his hand.

“I say we arm wrestle.” I stared at him.

“You're serious?" He nodded, looking at me expectantly. I sighed and grabbed his hand.

 

After I lost, I discovered that I'm a little competitive as well. I demanded we did something else. So we spent the entire day battling each other. Whether it be video games or trivia or whatever we could come up with.

“They've been at it all day,” I could hear Tyler say in the other room, "I swear they're gonna start shouting, ‘ANYTHING YOU CAN DO BETTER!’”

“Don't tempt us!” I called back. We fell back onto the couch, exhausted after our Just Dance match. Ethan groaned.

“So I beat you at this, but you beat me at Mario Kart.”

“Damn straight.”

“Are we even keeping score anymore?”

“I don't think so.”

“So there really isn't a way to tell who's 'better’ or tougher.”

“I guess not.” I looked down in my lap, twiddling my thumbs.

“Truce?” he offered.

“Truce.” He smiled and kissed the top of my head. He got up and headed to the kitchen where the other guys were, to get a soda. All of a sudden, an idea struck me. It could be considered playing dirty but I just had to try. I stood up.

“Hey, Ethan! I love you.” I saw him freeze, the others doing so as well.

We had only been dating a little over two months and neither of us have yet to say it. I've known for a little while now that I do, I just haven't said it out loud out of fear of scaring him.

He slowly turned around, revealing his shocked face. I cocked an eyebrow at him, trying not to smirk at his expression.

“W-What?”

“I do. Now, are you gonna say it back or am I tougher than you?” He glanced back at Mark and Tyler. They looked just as at a loss. I walked up to him and waited. He took a deep breath.

“I lo-” I quickly covered his mouth with my hand.

“No, don't! You don't have to say it if you don't mean it. I didn't think you were actually gonna say it. I really don't want you to do anything you don't wanna do. I'm sorry, I went too far.” He gently removed my hand from his mouth.

“Are you saying that you meant it?”

I looked away for a second before nodding. He smiled and hugged me.

“I love you, too," he whispered in my ear. My eyes widened as we pulled away. "Also, we're both pretty tough, I'd say.” I wiped at the tears in my eyes and nodded.

“Yeah, we are.”


	16. As an apology

**As an apology**

If there’s one thing you need to know about me, it is this: I am awkward as all hell. If I’m ever trying to be serious or menacing or sexy I just fuck it right up. I don’t even know why I try anymore.

I had been feeling kinda lonely and maybe a little neglected since he was almost constantly on his laptop, working. For the most part I was completely fine with that. He was always busy doing what he loved and it made him happy, so I was happy, too. But after a full week of never seeing him, and when I did see him he had his headphones on, I got a little frustrated. Which led me to make some questionable decisions.

I walked out to the living room to see that he was, indeed, still on the computer.

“Hey, sweetie, do you mind if I clean around you? The living room has gotten kinda messy.” I looked over to him and he didn't move at all, obviously not hearing me with the stupid headphones on. I just shrugged.

I plugged my phone into some speakers and chose a bass-y song. Rihanna's ‘Dancing in the Dark’ started playing and I set about cleaning. As I walked around, I made sure to move my hips around slowly. From the corner of my eye I could see him look up, staring at me. Did I mention I was wearing short shorts? Not my proudest moment.

At the part that said, “Boom, boom, boom” I thrusted my hips from side to side. Now his headphones were off as he continued to stare. I turned around to look at him and saw that his pupils were blown and his mouth was open a bit. I walked toward him, doing small body rolls and really working my hips.

Unfortunately, his laptop charger was on the floor and I tripped over it, face-planting the couch. He was up in a second to help me.

“Are you okay?” I moved the hair out of my face and huffed a sigh.

“Yeah. Physically, at least.” He chuckled a bit. I looked down and saw that his laptop was dumped on the floor.

“Oh my God.” I went to pick it up and saw that there was a small crack on the screen and a couple of the keys had popped out. “Oh no, I'm so sorry.” I handed it to him and hugged him from the side. “I'm sorry, I love you, I'm so sorry.” He looked from it to me, and back again. Then he closed it and put it on the table.

“It's fine, really. Just minor damage. I'm just glad you're okay.” He pulled me into his lap.

“To be honest, if you hadn't fallen, I wouldn't have even noticed the laptop. I wouldn't have noticed if the house was on fire.” I giggled at that. “What was that for, anyway? Not that I'm complaining.” I looked down at my lap.

“Don't laugh, but I wanted your attention just once this week. You've been really busy and… I don't know, it was stupid.” He lifted my head back up.

“It was not. I'm sorry I've been working so much that you thought you had to fight for my attention. Tell you what, I'll make sure to stick to a scheduled amount of time for work each day. Sound good?”

“Only if you're okay with it.” He nodded and kissed the top of my head.

“I really am sorry. I love you.” I rested my head on his shoulder.

“It's okay.”

“So… what do you say? Take it once more from the top? I'd really like to see the rest of that dance.” I laughed out loud. “I don't know why you're laughing, I'm being completely serious.” He smiled. “I think I found my new favorite song.”

 


	17. In a letter

**In a letter**

I opened the envelope with shaking hands and carefully unfolded the letter as if it would fall apart under my fingers. Just glancing at his scratchy handwriting made me laugh.

 

_I'm sorry if this is hard to read, I haven't hand-written a letter in so long. Anyway, today's the day! I can't believe we've known each other for seven years. I've been sitting here for over an hour, trying to think of the right thing to say to you. But the only thing that keeps crossing my mind was how we met. Do you remember?_

_I was sitting in an ice cream shop, waiting for my friends. And even though I informed the person working of my allergy, there must have been some kind of contamination because I went into anaphylactic shock. But of course, in my spastic state, I dropped my EpiPen. So here comes this girl, like some kind of superhero. Picks up my head and puts in her lap, injecting the pen into my thigh. I remember hearing her yelling at the employee to call 911 and then proceeded to stroke my hair and whisper that it was all gonna be okay._

_Of course you know that story, but there's a few things you might like to hear about that day. I was kinda drifting in and out of consciousness while on the floor so I don't remember much. But the first time I got a look at you, there was a light shining on you and you were looking down on me with this comforting smile… I actually thought you were an angel right then and there, as cheesy as it sounds._

_Also, Mark told me you had refused to leave my side and were all but ready to punch out a paramedic when they said you couldn't ride in the ambulance. He told me you and my friends drove to the hospital together and you refused to leave before you knew I was okay._

_Mark had said you were both pretty shaken up and helped each other by cracking jokes about my blue hair. And before you left, he had convinced you to leave your number because you were too shy to go see me._

_Please don't be mad at him for telling me all this. He didn't tell me until my bachelor party. And I think that's the most amazing thing I've ever heard. I owe you my life. So I wasn't wrong that day. You ARE my guardian angel. I can say that without a doubt. And I’m gonna spend the rest of my life protecting you as well._

_I love you and I can’t wait to to be your husband._

 

_Love, Ethan_

 

With tears streaming down my face, I placed the letter back in the envelope. There was a light tap on the door. Turning around, I saw Amy and Mark in the doorway. I stood up, smoothing out my dress and walked over to them. Amy put her hands over her mouth and gasped.

“You look absolutely beautiful!” She threw her arms around me and I laughed. I looked up at Mark, who had a warm smile on his face.

“You really do.” I let go of Amy and hugged Mark. “We’re here to make sure you’re ready. Ethan just got done reading your letter and is bawling like the small child he is. He was determined to come in here and see you. We told him that wasn’t wise and that we would check on you to make sure everything was okay. So! Everything okay?” he chuckled. I looked thoughtful for a second, then punched him in the shoulder.

“Ow! What did I do?” he asked, rubbing his shoulder with a pout.

“That’s for telling him that I was an emotional, wussy girl that almost cried and was too shy to even talk to him after he almost died!” I slapped his arm for good measure. Amy stifled a laugh behind her hand. Mark smirked.

“He told you I told him, huh?” I nodded. “Well, I thought it was a sweet story and that he should know. You cared about him from day one. Enough to stay by his side as much as possible. And so what if you got a little shy at the end? You left your number and the two of you were already talking that night. And do you wanna know something else? When we went in there after the doctors said he was fine, he looked around the room, like he was looking for someone. When he saw that that someone wasn’t there, he basically deflated. Later on, when I gave him your number… I had never seen him so shocked and happy at the same time. He wanted to talk to his ‘savior.’ He was so worried that he would screw something up that he asked for advice on how to talk to you. It was so cute. So there, now you both look like emotional, wussy girls.” He smiled. I bit my lips to keep from crying again.

“Well, now that you put it that way…” Both of them hugged me again.

“We’ll get out of your hair, now. Show’s about to start!” Amy gushed, wiping at my watery eyes. They gave me one last look, Mark giving a thumbs up, before leaving.


End file.
